Blogging...mile high club style

Made you look! HA! I bet you thought I was writing this post naked. Get your head out of the gutter.

I'm currently on a flight from Atlanta to Los Angeles (fully clothed, I might add) and felt this would be a good time to write about "my feelings". Or something like that. Personally, I don't know how people fly from the right coast to the left coast regularly. This is always a brutal flight---and it's not even international. I guess that makes me a light weight.

Firs thing, why am I on a plane? Oh yeah. I'm on my way to the annual Network of Executive Women Leadership Summit. This will be the second time I am attending. I had a great time last year, and am excited about this years summit. Just think, 1000+ women (sprinkle in a few lucky men) gathered discussing how to advance women in the workplace.

Well, it gets me excited. It is a passion that has grown for me in the past couple years. I am fortunate to be attending and look forward to all the learnings.

Who was that speaking, you ask? That was corporate Desiree. And now for the real Desiree.

Woohoo! Los Angeles! Three days! What what!!!!!

More later...I just wanted to blog something from this altitude.

Just saying...

I was watching one of my staple programs, "Project Runway". I love this show. Not so much for the fashion or the contestants. But because of Tim Gunn's vocabulary and how he uses it to describe fashion and odd scenarios is perfect. He is not only an impeccably dressed man, but chooses words as carefully as he chooses his clothing. One of my particular favorites is "Sturm und Drang".

More recently, he added to the list of Gunnisms. "Janky".

The exchange between me and my husband went like this:

Husband: Is that a word?

Me: I believe it is.

Silence...

H: The urban dictionary has a great definition of "janky".

M: Do tell.

He proceeds to read the following definitions and examples.

janky

(adjective) inferior quality; held in low social regard; old and delapidated; refers almost exclusively to inanimate material objects, not to people

(adjective) used to describe a person, place or thing which is questionable, fucked up, wrong, strange, broken down, undesirable, and/or just some thing you can't think of another word for. The origin of this work is explained somewhat in the conversation example. Friends and I were sitting around drinking coffee one morning, and I was bitching about my empty cup when my friend blamed the lack of coffee on the "janky ass coffee maker." I have since heard the word in the movie Friday. 

Other forms: janked, janked up, janked out,

We tried to pick up on these girls waiting for the bus, but I was driving my sister's janky 1989 geo metro so we just got clowned instead.

Michelle: yo, when's that coffee going to be ready? 

Crystal: I don't know. This janky ass coffee maker takes forever. 

And people say reality television isn't valuable. Thank you Tim Gunn. The next time I drive my janky 2000 Accord with it's janked up doors from inconsiderate jag-offs not paying attention when they open their own doors, I'll think of you and smile.

You can just smell the cool nights and burning leaves...

I think I'll try my hand at some baking this fall...

Pumpkin Bread with Pumpkin Butter Cream

 Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon ground allspice

2 large eggs

3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar (You can substituted light brown sugar)

1/3 cup granulated sugar

2 teaspoons freshly grated orange zest (optional)

1 teaspoon freshly grated lemon zest (optional)

1/2 cup canola oil

1 1/4 cups canned pure pumpkin puree

1/2 cup chopped, toasted pecans or walnuts, optional (I didn’t add the nuts to the batter, but sprinkled them on top of the frosted loaf instead)

Position your oven rack in the middle of the oven, and preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 x 5″ loaf pan; set aside.

Directions:

Combine flour, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda, salt, nutmeg, and allspice in a medium bowl and whisk until thoroughly combined; set aside.

In another bowl, or bowl of an electric mixer, beat eggs on medium-high speed for two minutes or until lightened in color. Add the brown sugar, mixing for about 2 minutes, then the granulated sugar, mixing for about 1 minute. Add the orange and lemon zests, if using, and beat for another minute. Scrape down the bowl as needed.

Drizzle in the canola oil with beater on medium-low. Reduce speed to low and add the pumpkin puree. Mix until thoroughly combined. Add the dry ingredients in two additions and blend for 10-15 seconds just until incorporated. Fold in the pecans using a rubber spatula.

Spoon the batter into your prepared loaf pan and bake for 60-65 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool loaf in pan for 10 to 15 minutes, then remove and cool completely on a wire rack.

If you’re going to frost the loaf, you can make the frosting while the loaf is cooling…

PUMPKIN BUTTER CREAM FROSTING

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, softened

2 Tablespoons canned pure pumpkin puree

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

3 cups powdered sugar

2 teaspoons half & half or milk

1/4 to 1/3 cup chopped pecans or walnuts, optional, for sprinkling on top

Cream the butter, pumpkin puree, cinnamon, and vanilla, blending well. Add powdered sugar a cup at a time, blending well after each addition. Add half & half or milk and blend well. NOTE: This makes a very thick butter cream frosting. If you want a thinner, creamier frosting, add more half & half or milk until you get the desired consistency.

After frosting the cooled pumpkin loaf, sprinkle with chopped pecans or walnuts if desired.

If I Were a Fashion Blogger

I'm like a lot of women. I love clothes! But let me be very clear...I'm not a fan of shopping. Trudging through the mall, or combing through racks and racks at places like Marshall's makes my skin crawl. More power to those of you who love to spend hours shopping and find great deals and cute outfits---I'm jealous. I have more misses than hits. But when I hit on something, I get very excited!

Pinterest helps curb the urge to go out and spend money on clothes I don't need. But I do make an effort to pin outfits and ideas of things that "if" I had the money and "if" closet space wasn't an issue, I would buy them. In recent months I have made a point to fill in the gaps in my wardrobe, mostly where work clothing is concerned. I have found several websites that offer advice to clueless individuals like myself. Wardrobe Oxygen is a great site because the author is a real woman with real curves! Wendy's Lookbook is a great fantasy site! I can't afford anything she's posts but I love her clothes and the layout of her site. She is also the creator of 25 Ways to Wear a Scarf in 4.5 Minutes. This video changed my life (so as a fan, I owe it to Wendy to promote her blog). I'm totally serious. I am awful at accessorizing my clothes, I own very little jewelry and what I do own is very simple. When I learned a few tricks on scarf tying I was hooked. Now I own a a half dozen scarves that I like to wear and they always liven up a dull outfit. However, summer is on it's way and a scarf has no business around my neck in the Atlanta summer heat. I need to step up my game and invest in some "statement pieces".

But my favorite go-to fashion site is Outfit Posts. The author of this site takes inspiration from a picture found on fashion sites and recreates the look for less and links to several sites like Target, Gap, H&M for different price points on the same items. Isn't that what most of us try to do anyways? I love her One Suitcase series. She takes 14-15 pieces that can all be packed into one suitcase and turns those items in 30+ outfits.

So to pay homage to my favorite fashion site that has inspired me to up my game, I am posting the following finds.

I was inspired by a blazer I saw at Nordstrom. But decided I didn't want to spend quite that much, even though this was an investment piece. I take pretty good care of all my clothes, so this white blazer that I found at Kohl's will do just fine. The tiered mesh top can be worn with or without the jacket. I already own the jeans (Lucky) and the shoes (Me Too).

There was no inspiration for this dress. I am always on the prowl for a cute dress. I think this dress was just lovely and perfect for when I attend professional functions. However, I didn't buy it. It wasn't an issue of money, because as you can see, it's a bargain. I tried to stick to my initial plan, which was on buying new tops. So I ask my readers, what do you think? Should I go back and buy it? Or did I make the right decision in not purchasing?

I'm not a foodie...I just play one on the Internet

I don't even play one on the Internet. I just like food a lot. Therefore, I think it's time to to talk about this favorite subject. But before we get too deep into this post, let me be clear. I don't consider myself a "foodie". Well, I do. But not in the way people use the term "foodie". There are several definitions of "foodie" in the Interweb. Some definitions are simple and straight to the point. Then there are the humorous definitions. Whenever I think "foodie", I think of definition #2 on that last link.

If I were to visualize the spectrum of people on the "foodie" scale, it would look something like this:

Level 1 - "Eat to Survive": People who eat to satisfy simple human needs. Note - I didn't say eat to "live" cause this ain't living people, it's existing. It's consuming vast amounts of inexpensive, processed and fast foods. For some, their means only allow this. Although I feel that people can eat fresh food that is good for them while on a budget, this post is not about that.

Level 11 - "Foodie": People who regularly execute recipes from Bon Appetite that contain 87 ingredients that can only be purchased at Whole Foods. Ingredients that will be used once. So unless you are going to make this recipe to serve 25 people, or will make it 20 times in the next month, those ingredients will never be used again. It's ok to venture into the extreme "foodie" realm from time to time and it's ok to have the super-sized value meal from your favorite fast food joint. But if your kitchen looks like a Sur la Table catalog and all you do is buy from farmers markets and turn your nose up and some good old comfort food, then you unfortunately, are a d-bag. Don't be a d-bag. We can't be friends.

I think of myself in the 7-9 range. There are processed foods in my pantry. Gasp. But my go-to foods spoil quickly so running to the grocery store for fresh foods twice a week is the norm.

This brings me to my most recent cooking baking cooking a sweet dish adventure. I don't consider myself a baker -- I'd make a good contestant on Top Chef, since the bulk of contestants can't bake. ANYWAYS. It's not really that big of an adventure. I just followed a recipe. But I can follow a recipe like a CHAMP!

So I'm on one of my "I-need-to-find-new-recipes-that-are-healthy-and-wholesome-or-I-will-go-crazy" jags. It's no secret that I troll Pinterest for inspiration. A beautifully composed picture of dish as basic as baked lemon chicken will reel me in every time. This Blueberry Baked Oatmeal is no exception. I love oatmeal and have been trying to find different ways to enjoy that don't include dumping it from a paper pouch or packaging five different ingredients to shlep to the office for my morning brekky. "Make it Sunday Monday night and have breakfast all through the week." Right on...I'm all over that. And this was the result.

Isn't that gorgeous?

Excuse me while I go fan myself. It's that good--not too sweet, not too thick or too thin---it was just right...commented Goldie Locks. I had my official taste-tester sample the end product and I received an approving nod. There are no fancy ingredients -- no steel cut oats or locally-sourced, organic blueberries picked-by-former-convicted-felons-trying-to-get-a-second-chance-at-a-better life (they were frozen--the blueberries--not the felons). In fact, the syrup I used has a lot of sugar in it. Gasp! Ok, I went overboard. I really should have used a reduced sugar syrup.

I'm no "foodie". I get really excited over good food. That makes me a food enthusiast.

It's all Robert Downey Jr.'s Fault

I can't eat scallops. Bummer, right? "They're soooooooo good," people say. They are on nearly every episode of Top Chef and Hell's Kitchen. I agree. They are soooooooo good. But I can't eat them. I have an allergy to scallops. I don't have an allergy to any other shellfish. I can gobble down shrimp, crab legs, and thankfully lobster. You're probably thinking, "How is it possible that you can't eat scallops but you can eat all those other seafood yummies?" Dunno. I don't have the letters "MD" behind my name, and to be honest I have never been officially tested. Let me explain.

The first time I ever tried scallops was at a PF Chang's in I think, 2000. Lemon scallops. They were good too. That night I fell violently ill. You know, the works. I don't need to go into detail because I think there is already enough content on the Internet about puke and poop to last mankind through the next ice age. I do recall looking at myself in the mirror the next day and seeing a lot of broken blood vessels around my eyes. The scallops were very eager to exit my body and did so in a very forceful manner.

Fast forward four years. Different state (Massachusetts). Different restaurant chain (Legal Seafood). I tried a seafood casserole that contained scallops. That night, I awoke sicker than I had ever been in my entire life, shivering, covered in hives, and itching all over. Since then I have not touched scallops.

Fast forward to a couple days ago. I headed down to this local restaurant known for good shawarma. I've eaten there a couple times so this time, I decided to go bold with a couple new condiments. I opted for some baba ganoush and a mystery red sauce...ingredients tbd. It was tasty! I ate about half of the wrap along with some pita bread and hummus. Upon returning to work, I started sneezing...and sneezing...and OMG Desiree, why are you sneezing so much?!?! Then the runny nose, as if a waterline had been opened. It took me a while to realize I may have had a reaction to something I had eaten. I took an allergy pill and the symptoms cleared up, mostly.

But the next morning when I got out of the shower I was covered, head to toe in HIVES!!!! Fortunately, this time there was no nausea. I am being treated for my reaction and I may consider seeing an allergist once and for all.

Wait - what do scallops and shawarma have in common, you ask? Nothing. Except that there is something about scallops and something contained within the shawarma that my bodies says, "Oh hell no Desiree!" I lay blame on Robert Downey Jr. If it weren't for this scene, I still wouldn't know what shawarma is. Thanks a lot IRONMAN!

Just ask the Internet...it knows EVERYTHING!

Tonight I decided to sit down once and for all and figure out how to insert pretty social media buttons onto my blog. You know what I'm talking about if you troll blogs like I do. If you don't know what I'm talking about, let me educate you. I'm referring to the Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Google+ buttons you can see on my blog off to the right. If you click them, they will take you to all my social sites. Yep---putting myself out there. Not scary at all.

So I sat down in front of my handy-dandy MacBook Pro and opened up Google and just asked the Internet some questions. Like "how to add a social media toolbar to blogger". Holy cow jackpot! Did you know the Internet has 717,000 answers for that question?!? The first result was a YouTube tutorial. I have found some great tutorials on YouTube for various projects I have worked on. Video tutorials typically yield a pre-pubescent british boy as the instructor. No really. Try searching "how to use chroma-key in Final Cut" and you will likely learn some tricks from Nigel...a 13 year old from the suburbs of London. If some kid with a MacBook who can't drive can figure this stuff out, surely I can! After all, I grew my very own human. I bet you can't do that, Nigel!

I decided to skip the video tutorial. I needed to find code that I could plagiarize, uh rip off, uh rip and reapply. Yes. And I found it here. The author of this article laid out the instructions in a very easy to understand manner. So easy in fact that I got it to work on the first try! If you find yourself wanting to add some really cool buttons to your website or blog, there are oodles of different styles. All you have to do is ask the Internet!

I'm very excited about this little design improvement I made. I look forward to many, many more as I learn more tricks. I hope you continue to read my posts so you can come along with me on this fun little journey.